Well, I think you’ve all been witnessing what « Idiosyncratic activities » can do… Come on think… Well you’ve at least witnessed it right here, right now!
Me “off line” for over six weeks => idiosyncratic activities. I’ll explain:
People with SPD are prone to idiosyncratic activities – don’t feel bad to look it up http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiosyncrasy, I had to open a dictionary myself, even with my Greek background… - Well for SPD, that basically means that schizoids are doing stuff turned toward themselves – no kidding! –
Well in my case if you add just a little bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder and enough external factor that you want to occult (like, let’s say… moving back in France) it can result in a total lock down. Put the timelessness sensation on top of it and you can start to understand how I can be off radar for 6 weeks without having physically been gone anywhere or otherwise been sick.
I have those episodes once in a while. I mean I pretty much always have idiosyncratic activities, but from time to time it’s going overboard. Those times are the ones I could really turn into a hermit if I did not have a family to anchor me.
Those times are when my brain in stuck into ONE mode. The only thing I can focus on is the activity of the moment. Over the years, it has been as broad as writing books, designing web sites, tagging my MP3 collection, doing a 6000 pieces puzzle, etc…
Life during those periods can be resuming as follow:
- Wake up thinking of a new stuff about the activity, starting to implement the new idea until someone or something recall me to go to work.
- Commuting, thinking of my activity (noting stuff on paper or any electronic device accordingly), usually missing my stop, and then walking back to work.
- Doing my work on autopilot, my mind set on my thing.
- Skipping lunch (as I did breakfast), working on my thing during lunch.
- Autopilot work again.
- Same commuting (same missing stop half the time).
- Blurry family evening, can’t say what is at the dinner table, can’t hear a thing about what is exchanged around the table.
- Working on my thing all night until I literally fell from fatigue (usually 2 – 3 am).
- Dreaming exclusively about ways to improve/add/change things on my project.
- Repeat…
I am totally permeable to anything exterior. I can agree or disagree with things my wife is running by me without any recollection afterward. Work is just a big blur in the middle of my day – though apparently I can still manage to disarm critical situations, do not ask me how, I must be “that” good at my work… -
Once the “thing” is done, only then do I realize the amount of time passed, how hard it as been on my family, and what I have to pick up the slack for (studies, work, laundry, email…)
It’s not all bad – at least for me -. Some good things are coming out of this sometimes; like books, learning a lot of things (pretty sure I won’t be a system engineer nowadays otherwise)…
For you it will probably just appear as a big black hole in the blog. If it is under three months, then I am not dead yet. If it runs longer than that… You can start worrying if you wish…
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