Vivre avec toi

Familly, Inner thoughts 2 Comments »

Je suis comme un électron et tu es mon noyau, mon centre.

Sans toi j’errerais sans but comme un bateau sans son ancre.

Il est certes peu d’endroits où je me sente bien,

mais l’un de ces havres est au creux de tes seins.

Et si je suis froid, souvent distant,

j’ai aussi mes pulsions par moment;

Dans la cuisine au détour d’un comptoir,

ou au sommet des escaliers, comme un promontoire,

c’est une main dans le cou

ou un simple bisou

qui révèle en cet instant

ce que je ressens vraiment.

Alors à ceux qui te demandes si ton mari t’aime,

dis leurs qu’il t’aime plus que tous ces maris bohêmes.

Dis leur qu’il ne boit pas pour t’oublier

et que jamais il ne t’a ni ne pourrait te tromper.

Et s’ils te demandent s’il est tendre est attentionné

dis leur que non, mais qu’il a le mérite de le savoir et d’essayer.

Dis leur que ça le ronge, dis leur qu’il a mal

et que même s’il pleure à l’écrit, rien n’y fait à l’oral.

Et puis non tiens, ne leur dis rien, il s’en fout

tout ce qu’il veut c’est t’avoir au creux de son cou.

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The end of World records

Inner thoughts No Comments »

olympicbrain.jpgMy wife was thinking that at one point there will be no more sporting records to break. I mean human physiology has its limits, and our physiological evolution is way slower than our recent learning pace. So at one point all training techniques will not be able to make a human body go over its physical limitation…

At that point all sportsmen/sportswomen of a specific discipline will just tend towards the ultimate goal of the maximum record attainable for a human being, knowing it could not be break anymore.

Turns out, researching a bit the subject, that this theory is actually right. The IRMES (Institute for Biomedical Research and Sports Epidemiology in Paris) backed by four other university and medical research facilities produced a report stating than:

  • in 1896 (first modern Olympic Games) 75% of the human integrated muscle biology was used to break world records.
  • In 2007 Athletes are using 99% of the physical maximum potential.
  • Half of the World records will not have improved more than 0,05% by 2027.
  • The wall will be hit in 2060, when no more records could be break without substantial physical/genetic evolution.

Will we then bend dimensions and space time continuum to break those physical limitations with technology? (my wife’s idea, not mine) or will humankind start working on its mind improvement at last? Because let me remind you that we are very far from using 99% of the potential of our brains…

Who knows, starting 2060 we might see “Olympics Mind Games” with several disciplines like: spirit, mind, creativity, theory, culture, imagination, intelligence, troubleshooting…

Note: Reference article -> http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0001552

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Apathy? Did you say apathy?

Inner thoughts 10 Comments »

When it comes to doing nothing, feeling empty, even worthless (since there is nothing you can do that will make a dent in the universe anyway, so why bother?) I had my share. The apathy is a very serious problem (probably the main cause of depression for schizoids), yet it’s pretty normal that this will occur in the course of that condition…

When you spend your life introverting, you cannot do otherwise but foreseeing things, playing with theories, “what ifs”, and when you do so, believe me, you cannot turn optimistic, at all… You see the world around you, you analyze it, you try to make sense of it, but when you are schizoid, few feelings are entering into the balance to dazzle you like the others, and you can just see it for what it is: A huge mistake spiraling down the drain exponentially!

Well the Universe I am fine with, the problem is human kind, mind you… Anyway… At first it was “I see it, I can make something about it”, then comes the “no way I can make them understand” and in the years “Who am I to think I could do something anyway”, then “Why the hell do I care, leave me alone”. But you see, we humans are genetically designed to be thrive onto “leaving a mark on the world”; making babies, building stuff (well breaking it is easier so that works well too…), shaping nature, defy the laws of our environment, playing gods… And when you consciously deny that to yourself because you are well aware of its absurdity, well your reptilian brain (deeper and more primal part of our brain) it does not like it… And it goes “You don’t want to make a mark? You don’t want to fulfill your prime programming? You don’t want to do a thing? Well then, DO NOTHING THEN, HAVE TASTE FOR NOTHING THEN, WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO LIE DOWN AND DIE THEN…” And that’s when the apathy begins… Read the rest of this entry »

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The fear of going crazy

Inner thoughts 6 Comments »

(Nancy, this one’s for you)

camisole.jpgIt’s time for me to post about something that I think even professionals are underestimating. There is little reference about “the fear of going crazy” for schizoids. And yet it is of capital importance, at least for me, I’ll explain why…

My mind is like one of those little spring toys that once wind upped won’t stop doing what they are meant to do. Even when they do stop, you just barely touch them and they go at it again.
Well my mind is meant to think and is wind up by thoughts. So you can imagine my mind like always thinking. And the more it thinks, the more it’s wind upped, and the more it’s wind upped, the more it thinks… That’s 24/7, every second of every minute of my life, restless… You can’t really understand what it means. My wife is the most empathic person I have ever known, and she can’t even start imagining what it’s like…
I mean, I am at the dinner table, talking, I get up to go pee, by the time I am upstairs I have travelled 3 million light years away thru a vortex that sucked me right from the stair case, I sit on the toilet and I am now peeling plantains in the 1750s on a remote island. As the drips fell done the bowl I wonder what will happen if the ballasts of a submarine were filled by an uncompressible gas instead of air, could it be released at a slower rate, smoothing the ride? I am back at the table exactly when the first computer more intelligent than any human being becomes aware of himself. I pick up the conversation around the table like nothing happened, realize that I probably did not flush, or did I? Can’t remember… Well my hands are misted, so at least I washed them… which makes me think: did I close the faucet? Well, let’s finish eating I’ll check discreetly after, why will a dog jump thru a hoop?…

Read the rest of this entry »

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We know the effects, but what are the causes?

Inner thoughts 2 Comments »

Well, again there is no definite answer to that question, and not just because I tend not to deal in absolutes, but simply because it’s still not known what are/is the cause(s) for the schizoid personality disorder. There are only theories, and no founded research is available, only speculation at this time. So before I draw my own conclusions, let’s see what those theories are.

Two schools come into play (surprisingly enough the old duality nature vs. nurture):

Biology / genetic factors:

Chromosomal or nervous system disorders might be a cause. In 1997 researches on the dopamine D2 receptor and dopamine DAT1 transporter gene supported a strong relationship with those important elements of the brain reward mechanisms and the schizoid and avoidant personality disorders.

Some studies seem to show a risk factor in families with history of parents having any of the disorders on the schizophrenic spectrum (one may argue, being educated by such a parent could very well be the cause and not just genetics…)

Educational / Environmental factors:

Some mental health professionals speculate that a bleak childhood where warmth and emotion were absent, histories of grossly inadequate, cold, or neglectful early parenting are contributing factors to developing SPD. (Overprotective mother / detached father).

Traumas in one’s life, in early childhood or adolescence, and family dysfunction may also precipitate the onset of social isolation and fear of social interaction. And it is then reasonable to assume that the schizoid personality disorder is clearly a protective mechanism to protect oneself and one’s ego from being hurt or damaged.

Read the rest of this entry »

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C’est pas moi qui le dit*

Inner thoughts, Society 7 Comments »

*I am not the one saying it

About Schizoids:

“Many, if not all, are highly intelligent.” - Denis Kucharski (http://www.angelfire.com/nt/ebay3/FAQ_of_Schizoid_Personality_Type.htm)

“He is brilliant, intelligent, creative, and hardworking.” Allison J. Himelick (http://www.pipeline.com/~dada3zen/schizoid_a_personality_not_a_disorder.htm)

“In the workplace, the schizoid is intelligent, gets things done, and they are unaffected by emotional events in the workplace; nothing bothers them much.” - (http://workplace.townhall.com/g/ec7ecae9-a5f7-47eb-904f-c3931918a6c5)

“Creative and intelligent” - Alexander Lowen (Eastern body, Western Mind - http://books.google.com/books?id=LngQ_5tdzPwC&pg=PA81&lpg=PA81&dq=schizoid+intelligent&source=web&ots=yvzqm21oqu&sig=DbDG-ojpPyR0JYiRjkaau0tqsnU)

“intelligent, articulate, efficient…” - Rollo May (Love & Will - http://books.google.com/books?id=JzMjnCFTzVEC&pg=PA68&lpg=PA68&dq=schizoid+intelligent&source=web&ots=_II8cfEpk3&sig=44seI5ac1mswES3S1njy-29kptc#PPP1,M1)

I don’t think Schizoid personality is a valid disorder, some of the smartest people in history were schizoid because they occupied a remote end of the intelligence bell curve. - Tim Flynn (http://www.similarminds.com/)

“Schizoids are generally of above average intelligence…” - Shawn (http://www.geocities.com/schizoidyg/schizoid2welcome.html)

Now since schizoids represent only between 1 to 7.5%* of the population, doesn’t this suggests that our society is primarily composed of cretins?

*(Statistics on the number of schizoids are notorious for their imperfection since one of the trait is to not concider self “sick”, so not really consulting… 1% is the official percentage of diagnosis, 7.5% is an estimated figure often referred to)

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How schizoid?

Inner thoughts, Society 17 Comments »

schizoiddb.jpgI’ve read a post on PsyForums where a teenager was wondering if he had SPD. A nice, definitively on the good side of the fence young man (not saying that because he is obviously a bit introvert). Made me wonder how many people think they could have a SPD…

So here is how schizoid I am (again it’s just me) so you can compare:

Read the rest of this entry »

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