A schizoid personality

A word on one of my « coworkers ». He is the database administrator at work, in fact the best damn DBA I had the pleasure to work with. He is self taught in this field, changed career several times.

He is also pretty handy with systems (Windows / Linux) not just Databases, does some neat programming too. Hard worker, reliable, efficient, dependable. On a personal side, he is married, traveled quite a bit in Australia, has four and half daughters (two + twins + a newly discovered pre marriage older one…) Two years ago he decided to shape it up a bit, and he is now a marathon man (already 3 marathons done). Redid pretty much everything in his house, got a few websites, etc…

Yes, I like him. He is an “individual”, which be my standards is a pretty high status already. He has also earned my respect both professionally and personally, which is pretty much the top of my pyramid before sleeping with me…

Last year, he came in my office (good times, no shared office then, I was acting director while my boss was working for the ministry of education for a year) and told me he was just diagnosed a mild bipolar with Tourette traits. Of course I already knew he was an unusual guy, this, just like for me, was just putting a label, a name, on his personality.

Bipolars do have some pretty definite med treatments, which he adapted to very well, keeping the strengths while shoving away the bad sides of bipolar (harsh decisions, destructive behaviors and such…). It’s normal, I do believe there is little he could not achieve, he’s “the man” after all (private joke).

See, another proof than extraordinary individuals can’t be “normal” peoples, by definition. Sure he is on the extrovert scale, sure I won’t discuss Kafka or geopolitics with him, sure I won’t hit bars with him either, but none the less, he is one of those that are standing out of the mass (in a good way, not in a mass-murderer clown politician kind of way [not targeting anyone in particular here]).

And if I deal with a particularly hard project with impossible goals and tight schedule, guess who I’ll turn towards to? I’ll choose an extrovert friend over any sheep, anytime!

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Outside of the medical interdependences shown previously, SPD and its syndromes are also typically misinterpreted by the general population.

Schizoid v/s schizophrenia: Only thing they have in common is their Greek roots. “schizo” meaning “split”. Other than that they have nothing in common, The schizoid is “split from the society” when schizophrenia is “split from reality” ( the fantasizing part of the schizoid does not even compare to schizophrenia, the schizoid never doubt for a minute that he is day dreaming and nothing of it is real). I have read an interesting post where someone suggested to change the term schizoid to “souls of solitude”. Not very clinical, but very poetic indeed.

Introverts (it’s not just the schizoids) are egoist and narcissist: Faceit the general population thrives in an extrovert society, so as soon as you look at your shoes and keep quiet you are egoist (for not sharing your life), if on top of it you seem the slightest at ease being alone (like the schizoid will) then you are a self absorbed narcissist. Funny when medically, the narcissism disorder is actually an extrovert behavior… Those are more due to ignorance and vocabulary misunderstanding than anything else but they were worth mentioning as they do sent the wrong message about introverts.

Introverts are always shy / timid: Seems obvious right? Yet it is not ALWAYS true. Shy and timid people are not necessarily introverts either… An introvert is someone interiorizing things, bottling up things tightly inside (could be feelings or emotions for the schizoid, could be fears for the paranoid, or delusions for the shizotypical) but not necessarily himself. Yes in most cases an introvert will display shy or timid like behaviors, but not always. Which bring me to the last part.

The “secret schizoid”: Shattering some bases of the DSM-IV-TR and ICD-10 heavily focusing on the avoidance and reluctance side of the schizoid towards the external world and interpersonal relationship, the concept of “secret schizoid” (I like to call it “the social schizoid” or “The ubber impersonator”) first rose in the 40’s while a study conducted by psychologist Fairbairn made him cross path with a diagnosed schizoid showing sign of nothing less than “impressive social contacts”.
Who is that “secret schizoid”? Well it is a schizoid who mastered his tools of defense mechanism to a whole new level. He can actually “act” like social, appear socially appealing, and even engage in group activities… But the toll to pay is heavy to achieve the level of detachment implied (trust me on that one: The show is good, but don’t try to get backstage).

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A warning before entering.

This site might, well actually, WILL disturb not just our sensible readers out there, but a whole lot bunch of you…

I am not warning you of crude contents or anything of the like (thought it could be, sporadically, that I describe a crude situation with crude words, you wouldn’t me to asepticize it would you? That would be CNN.com or worse FOXNEWS.com, but certainly not here…).

But I am warning you that you should enter with an open mind. Some of your beliefs are going to be abused, your way of thinking challenged and overall you will be put off-balance by some of the content here.

Will it be by naïve honesty, too much insight into my personal life, blunt comments from my part on religion, politics or society alike? Or simply because as a schizoid I tend to think differently and it will not fit into your mold? Whatever the cause is, your reading might become disturbing. In that case you always have the choice to stop and return to the comfort of your mold own truth, or keep reading… You might learn something, none of the least being opening your mind to other possibilities…

On the bright side, since I am supposedly “suffering from a disorder“, if you feel uncomfortable reading me, it means YOU are perfectly “normal” (whatever normal means).

The “Me, Myself and I” syndrome:

How annoying is it when pompous people are always like “ME… blah blah blah”, “I… Blah blah blah”, “MYSELF… blah, blah, blah”? Like they know it all right?

Well, trust ME when I tell you it bothers ME as much as you. Sadly that’s what’s going to happen here… I am putting MYSELF forward! How exquisitely extrovert of ME! (little introvert humor there).

Trust ME, I don’t like it, and it is definitively not a trait of MY personality. But how could I pretend generalizing my ramblings with a “we”? I am a schizoid of many, and what I will share thru the blog are just MY feelings of it, driven by MY life, MY experiences, and MY lack of emotions. How could I ever pretend to be some kind of a voice for all schizoids, introverts or people with personality “disorders”? Now THAT will be really pompous of ME! If “they” want to talk, let them make a stand and express themselves! (Another little introvert humor there, and that is the last time I emphasize that).

Seriously, I chose the “Me, MYSELF and I” syndrome over anything else that could remotely make believe I speak on behalf of any group. It’s just MY story, and I just happen to be schizoid. Take my word for it.

Don’t take it personally:

I will bash all and any: Christians, Muslims, Jewish, blue, red, black, white, rainbow, gals, guys, young, elder… I can’t fathom the meaning of “politically correct” (and it is not because I am French). Don’t take it personally; it’s not that I don’t like you… It’s just that I don’t care about you… (Not an ounce of introvert humor there, nope, that is 100% schizoid humor now).

Know the context:

I think you need to understand the context. Not thinking you understand it, but really understand it… So I urge you to read on the ABOUT page and brush up what you think you know about SPD (Schizoid Personality Disorder), the PERSONALITY DISORDERS page might be a good start, but don’t trust me, please I am not a reliable source, so dig in, surf, make up your own opinion.

Medical advice, help and the like:

To those who hit this site while searching for information, help or advises on Personality Disorders broadly or SPD in particular, this site might fulfill the information part, or at least ramp you up to sites that will thru the links, but I can’t stress it enough: I’AM NOT A DOCTOR, I have no business giving advises. Hell I don’t even do “groups” so let alone support groups!

I can only share my own experience. And my own experience is, if you or someone close to you suffer or think of suffering from a personality disorder: You’re on your own… Hum, ok, I realize that came out wrong (you have to understand that for me, being on my own, is actually a really good thing).

What I mean is try to figure a few things by yourself (is it just post puberty, is it the 40 crisis ringing at your door…) Take some time to reflect on things. And if you really need help, seek the right kind. The best doctors are neither on TV shows nor putting ads in the paper to help you at 2$/min over the phone… See! You are a bit on your own, after all, and that puts you in a unique position to step back, calm down and think. Take that time, don’t rush towards charlatans, and find the proper medical help you need (if any).

Note: As a matter of fact I won’t consider seeking medical help myself, since, well, let’s face it, I am not scared (why would I, since I am not sick…) Yet again, it’s a schizoid talking… (You should really brush-up on SPD now).

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• About (6)
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• Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD) (5)